I never seem to run out of lessons to learn when it comes to being a full time mommy. Since this is what I learn about all day long, I thought I might as well put my M.F.A. to use and write about motherhood. So here goes!
My sweet 2-year-old, Jordyn, gives me a lesson daily in Dr. Jekyll vs. Mr Hyde.
Me: Jordyn, wanna read a book?
Jordyn: okay!
Me: Hey Jordyn let's pick up your toys.
Jordyn: okay!
Me: Sweet Jordyn let's go make some dinner.
Jordyn: okay!
Me: Jordyn it's time for a nap.
Jordyn: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Followed by enough crying and angry screams to make my neighbors think I beat my children)
How is it that I as a 26-year-old woman find that I'm awful at reading people when my 2-year-old not only has discovered all of my buttons and how to push them, but also how to be just sweet enough that I feel bad for putting her in time out?
Example: Jordyn likes to snack on Cheerios (which are currently outlawed in our house for the following reason) however, she discovered a few months ago that if she waits until I'm looking at her then dumps them all over the floor that mommy gets really irritated. In all my wise logic of being consistent with timeouts I figured that I would put her in timeout and she would promptly pick them up and we'd be done. WRONG. What happens is that I put her in timeout then she'll pick up a few and put them back in the bowl then dump them out again resulting in another timeout. After 45 minutes of timeout and her picking them up eating a couple then dumping them out again finally all of the Cheerios are gone and I'm so grumpy that when my husband, Cory, comes home I'm super fun to hang out with, NOT.
See there are things that people don't tell you about being a parent, that I'm sure if more people knew they'd be grateful to know they aren't going crazy. Like how emotional parenting is. One second I love everything about my children and then next second (usually following a tantrum or witnessing someone else's parenting) I'm convinced my children have the worst possible parent in the universe. Seem a little extreme? Yep, parenting is like that.
Then there are those who like to dump all the bad parts of parenting on you.:
Me: So Jordyn's been a little sick recently and she's not sleeping well.
Person: Well, mine is 28 and still isn't sleeping through the night AND still sleeps in my bed AND is still in diapers AND still won't eat their vegetables AND....
Me: oh (looks at floor and wonders how to back track out of this conversation).
Really? All I wanted was some acknowledgement that I'm not the only person in the world trying to raise kids who are functional, productive people. Perhaps it's my own fault for not stating what I really want. Maybe if I approach the situation saying "Hey fellow parent I want some reassurance down here in the trenches, so please don't try to trump my molehill because then I'll feel awkward and this will have been the least productive conversation I've had all day which is saying something because currently my best source of conversation is a 2-year-old."
Speaking of those trumping people... What is it with them? Look, parenting is hard enough without competing to see who has it worse. Goodness people, get a hobby. I suppose it doesn't matter where you find yourself, there are always those who want to be king of the hill. Let me tell you a secret, you can have king of the hill, I don't want it. Parenting is hard enough I don't really want to be trying to outdo the other parents out there. I want to run around with a big poster yelling "Keep up the good work! Don't quit!" In the marathon of parenting the sprinters need to tone it down, take a breath, and brace yourself for the long haul. But, if you really want to "beat" me to the top of the hill, go for it.
Okay, semi-rant over. As far as the future of this blog, I'm not promising regular posts or even that this relationship is going to work. I'm going to test drive it and see if this fits me as an outlet. If not, I'll find another way. So for the mean time, I'll share my lessons/adventures and hope to remember all the things that I love and hate about parenting.
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